Expectations
What resuscitates my very soul
on this quiet,
yet windy morn?
Could it be
your presence, Lord?
Awaking
from my slumber, torn.
With child-like anticipation,
I wonder
what’s in store?
For I have
so much already
Could you wish
to give me more?
I search my heart, and my mind.
Through prayer
I attempt to obey.
Yet, fallible ,
a mortal being.
Strengthen me
to discern each day.
“Not my will Lord,” Jesus prayed.
And so,
I sense what’s right.
Create a servant
heart in me.
That I may share
Your sovereign Light!
Imparted to me by my heavenly Father, this Sunday
morning November 15, 2009. Of this I am confident.
But for Him, I’d have no breath or soul.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Mind verses Matter
Mind verses Matter
On June 25th, a most memorable day
In the year 2009, I remember it this way.
At light’s early dawn to the bakery I went
Bread to make up as the yeast did ferment.
With that duty over, ‘twas home that I came
Assuming another role, yet raising all the same.
My adult child with children of her own
Was experiencing turmoil as she’d never known.
Escaping the pressures that were notably overbearing
Agreeing that a distraction was what we’d be sharing.
Seeking sound advice to her doctor we went
After that visit she was a bit more content.
Respite was the diagnosis for her to unwind and heal
Yet, after the drive home her peace I did steal.
The truth of my actions, I don’t fully understand
In attempting a stunt and the strength it would demand.
Stupidity reigned supreme as out of her car I did get
Without locking it in park, this I sorely regret.
Thinking of my daughter, to her stress I could not add
So my focus was her car, I’d save it and be glad.
Trying desperately to avert going down an incline
A beating I then took to my ribs and my behind.
Getting back into the car was not a sensible thing
Nor grabbing the steering wheel as it tried to take wing
A run-a-way car - a frightening and moving violation.
Super Woman I am not, this middle-aged creation.
When someone asked, “what were you thinking of?”
I suppose the brain can slip a gear in an action of love.
The moral of my story I choose to share with you
Never attempt to be a hero without the suitable glue.
On June 25th, a most memorable day
In the year 2009, I remember it this way.
At light’s early dawn to the bakery I went
Bread to make up as the yeast did ferment.
With that duty over, ‘twas home that I came
Assuming another role, yet raising all the same.
My adult child with children of her own
Was experiencing turmoil as she’d never known.
Escaping the pressures that were notably overbearing
Agreeing that a distraction was what we’d be sharing.
Seeking sound advice to her doctor we went
After that visit she was a bit more content.
Respite was the diagnosis for her to unwind and heal
Yet, after the drive home her peace I did steal.
The truth of my actions, I don’t fully understand
In attempting a stunt and the strength it would demand.
Stupidity reigned supreme as out of her car I did get
Without locking it in park, this I sorely regret.
Thinking of my daughter, to her stress I could not add
So my focus was her car, I’d save it and be glad.
Trying desperately to avert going down an incline
A beating I then took to my ribs and my behind.
Getting back into the car was not a sensible thing
Nor grabbing the steering wheel as it tried to take wing
A run-a-way car - a frightening and moving violation.
Super Woman I am not, this middle-aged creation.
When someone asked, “what were you thinking of?”
I suppose the brain can slip a gear in an action of love.
The moral of my story I choose to share with you
Never attempt to be a hero without the suitable glue.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Sobering Assessment
I began this journey of blogging on Nov. 1st without a whole lot of research or forethought regarding blogging in general. As it is with most of the endeavours I’ve embarked upon, while not being fully prepared, the unexpected is sure to occur. This excursion is clearly no different.
My next article entitled ‘sobering assessment’ stems from an occurrence which took root on Nov 1st. Over a two day period this root mushroomed into an awkward confrontation. All is well and good again, thankfully. From time to time a correctional self-evaluation can lead to refreshing observations.
Sobering Assessment
When I began posting articles on my blog I shared a personal account of whether or not I felt blessed or cursed. To be honest, I truly do not feel cursed. Hence, why do I do the things I do, and say the things I say?
What I have discovered is that being totally open and honest, especially with myself, can be brutally painful. Yet, the acknowledgment of putting my self-desires above the needs of others helped to deliver a humbling message while generating a real sense of gratitude for the whole experience. Especially when I know in my heart, mind and soul that (as a Christian, still under construction, of course!) I should be putting the needs of others ahead of my own. It is the
Christian way.
The discouragement that my husband expressed in the company of our Christian friends was so sobering it felt as though a surgeon had taken a scalpel to my heart without first administering any kind of anaesthetic. You see as an Anglican Lay Minister, my husband was preparing to lead an evening worship service on Nov. 1st and he expected me to support him by my attendance. Bottom line...I didn't go. This particular service was very important to him as he had experienced a temporary absent from our church and any associated activities due to physical and emotional exhaustion.
Saying that our planned night of sharing with our friends didn’t go exactly as planned would be a complete understatement. But then again, who’s plan? Mine?
If I am to learn anything on this Christian journey it is that I am not able to journey on my own and obey God’s will at the same time. The structure of our sharing group, as pertains to the Cursillo method, is a guideline to help us to live our lives through Piety, Study and Action. We are reminded in John’s gospel of Christ’s own words, “without Me you can do nothing.” A lesson in piety for me? Definitely!
An observation from the night of the open wound;
-acknowledge the problem
-discuss the findings and healing approach
-administer positive steps to ensure restoration.
Communication is key! Whether it be my spouse, a family member, a friend, but most especially my heavenly Father. God is always open to communication. However, I must acknowledge Him every day in every way.
Jesus hung on the cross and spoke these words, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” Why then do I look at my own personal trials as a curse and not a blessing? Jesus experienced His darkest moment as an honour and a privilege to obey His Father’ will. Why then do I not accept my trials as a privilege and honour God. Christ suffered the unbearable pain for me. As a Christian my desire is to be more like Christ.
On the drive back home following our evening of group sharing the rain poured from the heavens and the effect of what had transpired during our sharing was splitting my heart. Still an open heart communication both on the drive and upon retirement to our bedroom led to a much needed filtration and irrigation. For me it transcended into a long overdue communication with my heavenly father seeking His forgiveness and mercy. I know not what His plans are for me, or for the both of us as a couple, yet I felt His assuring, loving embrace and I know I must trust in Him and His will.
Tonight I lay it all at His feet and look forward to a new dawn, and a renewed spirit. He is with me, and with us. His Holy Spirit is my comforter. When I stray from daily communion with God than I rob myself of a possible blessing.
The physical quirks I endure in my life are but mere quirks if I choose to view all subjection as channels for spiritual blessings. I profess to love my Lord, and so I must strive even harder to walk the walk and talk the talk.
May you all experience God’s blessing.
My next article entitled ‘sobering assessment’ stems from an occurrence which took root on Nov 1st. Over a two day period this root mushroomed into an awkward confrontation. All is well and good again, thankfully. From time to time a correctional self-evaluation can lead to refreshing observations.
Sobering Assessment
When I began posting articles on my blog I shared a personal account of whether or not I felt blessed or cursed. To be honest, I truly do not feel cursed. Hence, why do I do the things I do, and say the things I say?
What I have discovered is that being totally open and honest, especially with myself, can be brutally painful. Yet, the acknowledgment of putting my self-desires above the needs of others helped to deliver a humbling message while generating a real sense of gratitude for the whole experience. Especially when I know in my heart, mind and soul that (as a Christian, still under construction, of course!) I should be putting the needs of others ahead of my own. It is the
Christian way.
The discouragement that my husband expressed in the company of our Christian friends was so sobering it felt as though a surgeon had taken a scalpel to my heart without first administering any kind of anaesthetic. You see as an Anglican Lay Minister, my husband was preparing to lead an evening worship service on Nov. 1st and he expected me to support him by my attendance. Bottom line...I didn't go. This particular service was very important to him as he had experienced a temporary absent from our church and any associated activities due to physical and emotional exhaustion.
Saying that our planned night of sharing with our friends didn’t go exactly as planned would be a complete understatement. But then again, who’s plan? Mine?
If I am to learn anything on this Christian journey it is that I am not able to journey on my own and obey God’s will at the same time. The structure of our sharing group, as pertains to the Cursillo method, is a guideline to help us to live our lives through Piety, Study and Action. We are reminded in John’s gospel of Christ’s own words, “without Me you can do nothing.” A lesson in piety for me? Definitely!
An observation from the night of the open wound;
-acknowledge the problem
-discuss the findings and healing approach
-administer positive steps to ensure restoration.
Communication is key! Whether it be my spouse, a family member, a friend, but most especially my heavenly Father. God is always open to communication. However, I must acknowledge Him every day in every way.
Jesus hung on the cross and spoke these words, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” Why then do I look at my own personal trials as a curse and not a blessing? Jesus experienced His darkest moment as an honour and a privilege to obey His Father’ will. Why then do I not accept my trials as a privilege and honour God. Christ suffered the unbearable pain for me. As a Christian my desire is to be more like Christ.
On the drive back home following our evening of group sharing the rain poured from the heavens and the effect of what had transpired during our sharing was splitting my heart. Still an open heart communication both on the drive and upon retirement to our bedroom led to a much needed filtration and irrigation. For me it transcended into a long overdue communication with my heavenly father seeking His forgiveness and mercy. I know not what His plans are for me, or for the both of us as a couple, yet I felt His assuring, loving embrace and I know I must trust in Him and His will.
Tonight I lay it all at His feet and look forward to a new dawn, and a renewed spirit. He is with me, and with us. His Holy Spirit is my comforter. When I stray from daily communion with God than I rob myself of a possible blessing.
The physical quirks I endure in my life are but mere quirks if I choose to view all subjection as channels for spiritual blessings. I profess to love my Lord, and so I must strive even harder to walk the walk and talk the talk.
May you all experience God’s blessing.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A Blessing or a Curse
During my fifty plus years I seem to have developed a weakening immune system. The attraction towards all sorts of nasty bugs, while none are welcome, all tend to over extend their visit. Now I am on even higher alert thanks to the H1N1 flu virus. I have been seriously considering buying in a bulk supply of disposable gloves and face masks.
Memory replay utters my mothers sentiments time and again, “If there is anything out there creeping and crawling, leave it to Josephine, she is sure to catch it first and bring it home to everyone else.” It’s not a good feeling being that popular!
And to make matters worst, ever since my early childhood, my inability to leave well enough alone, continues to plague me. Any and all superficial injuries I happen to sustain to my flesh generates this compulsive need to pick at them. You’d think, by now, my immune system would be better able to withstand these foreign invaders. On second thought maybe the gloves could offer a fitting solution for this particular compulsive habit. After all my mother did threaten me time and again that she would tie a pair of mittens to my wrists to prevent me from picking my scabs and sores.
Being born so close to Hallowe’en, I often wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that I couldn’t rest until the blood was oozing through the skin.
Speaking of unattractive displays, swollen ankles does nothing for my sex appeal either. Not only are they unsightly, but often times, it’s just downright uncomfortable. What’s the use of projecting a shapely figure in a short skirt only to draw attention to non-existent ankles. Well I suppose there is the alternative - stylish slacks. Contrary to my earlier belief, this is definitely not an (old age!) condition. Who’s old? Not me! That would be my grandmother.
“There’s more blood in a turnip!” My mother-in-law first introduced me to this expression one time when she saw me wearing a turtle neck sweater on a supposedly hot summer’s day. You know how it works. If it comes from your mother-in-law then chances are you interpret it the wrong way. Right?
Well her comment did rub me the wrong way which led to the discovery of yet another presumed old age condition - poor circulation.
Imagine my excitement though when my doctor informed me that I had Raynaud’s. This was completely new to me, and so therefore couldn’t possibly be considered an elderly condition.
However, anyone with this affliction can testify that there is nothing exciting about it neither is it restricted to any particular age group.
Air conditioning, any exposure to dampness, cold conditions whether it be water or air, and even digestion of cold foods and beverages can and does ice-olate a person. Not at all a pleasant experience. No, not even as an alternative for hot flashes. One curse is as bad as the other!
Thankfully, I am learning to adjust to this affliction. Whenever we go for a drive I must remember to take gloves, a scarf and a blanket. Yes, especially in summertime! My husband, who cannot tolerate the heat and loves air conditioning has agreed not to make fun of my year round accessories. While I may not look like I’m playing with a full deck, at least I’m not portraying an image of the walking dead!
With my birthday fast approaching Hallowe’en nipping at my heels the question remains do I feel ‘blessed or cursed?’
Memory replay utters my mothers sentiments time and again, “If there is anything out there creeping and crawling, leave it to Josephine, she is sure to catch it first and bring it home to everyone else.” It’s not a good feeling being that popular!
And to make matters worst, ever since my early childhood, my inability to leave well enough alone, continues to plague me. Any and all superficial injuries I happen to sustain to my flesh generates this compulsive need to pick at them. You’d think, by now, my immune system would be better able to withstand these foreign invaders. On second thought maybe the gloves could offer a fitting solution for this particular compulsive habit. After all my mother did threaten me time and again that she would tie a pair of mittens to my wrists to prevent me from picking my scabs and sores.
Being born so close to Hallowe’en, I often wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that I couldn’t rest until the blood was oozing through the skin.
Speaking of unattractive displays, swollen ankles does nothing for my sex appeal either. Not only are they unsightly, but often times, it’s just downright uncomfortable. What’s the use of projecting a shapely figure in a short skirt only to draw attention to non-existent ankles. Well I suppose there is the alternative - stylish slacks. Contrary to my earlier belief, this is definitely not an (old age!) condition. Who’s old? Not me! That would be my grandmother.
“There’s more blood in a turnip!” My mother-in-law first introduced me to this expression one time when she saw me wearing a turtle neck sweater on a supposedly hot summer’s day. You know how it works. If it comes from your mother-in-law then chances are you interpret it the wrong way. Right?
Well her comment did rub me the wrong way which led to the discovery of yet another presumed old age condition - poor circulation.
Imagine my excitement though when my doctor informed me that I had Raynaud’s. This was completely new to me, and so therefore couldn’t possibly be considered an elderly condition.
However, anyone with this affliction can testify that there is nothing exciting about it neither is it restricted to any particular age group.
Air conditioning, any exposure to dampness, cold conditions whether it be water or air, and even digestion of cold foods and beverages can and does ice-olate a person. Not at all a pleasant experience. No, not even as an alternative for hot flashes. One curse is as bad as the other!
Thankfully, I am learning to adjust to this affliction. Whenever we go for a drive I must remember to take gloves, a scarf and a blanket. Yes, especially in summertime! My husband, who cannot tolerate the heat and loves air conditioning has agreed not to make fun of my year round accessories. While I may not look like I’m playing with a full deck, at least I’m not portraying an image of the walking dead!
With my birthday fast approaching Hallowe’en nipping at my heels the question remains do I feel ‘blessed or cursed?’
The Things I Do !
On a recent trip to Botwood to visit our friends I made a simple, yet outrageous detour! We, (my husband and I) were not suppose to be in a rush that morning when we planned to get away from our business for a relaxing two or three days. But as usual, he always seems to be out in the car waiting on me. His actions not only infuriate me, but frustrate me to a point where I will occasionally forget to grab something which I had intended on taking.
This time it was a pair of gloves. The weather wasn’t too bad, for a normal person. Truth is the word normal just doesn’t fit well with me for some reason. Nothing I do reflects normal behaviour.
We both decided to stop at this popular local restaurant in Gander for lunch. Having
frequented this location many a time before and enjoyed the food there we thought since it is Thanksgiving weekend we'll order a nice turkey dinner. Maybe it was the way I was dressed or maybe it was they didn't pay their heating bill. I am not usually a fast eater but I had to wolf down my meal in the case that it was me who was low on energy fuel. When we finished our meal and were about to continue our journey I suggested we make a quick stop to Wal-mart.
“What do you need to get there?” was my husband’s response. A pair of gloves was my
reply, rubbing my hands vigorously. A chill had set in my bones that a hot meal nor coffee seemed to remedy.
“Sure he says,” we have time. We arrived on the parking lot and he pulled up next to the entrance and informed me that he would wait there, seeing as how I shouldn’t be too long getting a pair of gloves.
Half hour later, maybe more, I returned with a complete outfit minus the gloves. I was informed that their Christmas and winter stock hadn’t arrived yet. You see when I left home I was sporting a pair of tights, a floor length skirt (to cover my usual swollen ankles!), a pair of slip-on open-heel shoes, a blouse and a slight sweater under my jacket. I did have my blanket, just no gloves. It’s difficult for me to remember to take everything when I feel the slightest hint of pressure.
Anyhow, our journey was now back on track including a stop for refuelling. Needless to say my blanket came in handy. Upon my husbands return to our vehicle I presented myself in the latest Wal-Mart attire. A new pair of socks (over my tights of course), a pair of enclosed laced up black shoes, brown corduroy pants, a roll neck heavy wool sweater complete with scarf/shawl, and my original jacket. Comfy as a bug in a rug I was now feeling much better. I didn’t even need gloves as I folded up my blanket and laid it across my lap with my hands tucked neatly under it.
No the windows were not rolled down, nor was the air conditioning turned on. My
husband was fitted out in a short sleeved shirt and trousers. He was comfortable! I was comfortable! We were now, however, in total agreement on the temperature. At least the temperature inside the car. And I was delighted with my new duds!!!
Famous Wal-Mart catch-phrase...."Did you find everything you were looking for?"
On a recent trip to Botwood to visit our friends I made a simple, yet outrageous detour! We, (my husband and I) were not suppose to be in a rush that morning when we planned to get away from our business for a relaxing two or three days. But as usual, he always seems to be out in the car waiting on me. His actions not only infuriate me, but frustrate me to a point where I will occasionally forget to grab something which I had intended on taking.
This time it was a pair of gloves. The weather wasn’t too bad, for a normal person. Truth is the word normal just doesn’t fit well with me for some reason. Nothing I do reflects normal behaviour.
We both decided to stop at this popular local restaurant in Gander for lunch. Having
frequented this location many a time before and enjoyed the food there we thought since it is Thanksgiving weekend we'll order a nice turkey dinner. Maybe it was the way I was dressed or maybe it was they didn't pay their heating bill. I am not usually a fast eater but I had to wolf down my meal in the case that it was me who was low on energy fuel. When we finished our meal and were about to continue our journey I suggested we make a quick stop to Wal-mart.
“What do you need to get there?” was my husband’s response. A pair of gloves was my
reply, rubbing my hands vigorously. A chill had set in my bones that a hot meal nor coffee seemed to remedy.
“Sure he says,” we have time. We arrived on the parking lot and he pulled up next to the entrance and informed me that he would wait there, seeing as how I shouldn’t be too long getting a pair of gloves.
Half hour later, maybe more, I returned with a complete outfit minus the gloves. I was informed that their Christmas and winter stock hadn’t arrived yet. You see when I left home I was sporting a pair of tights, a floor length skirt (to cover my usual swollen ankles!), a pair of slip-on open-heel shoes, a blouse and a slight sweater under my jacket. I did have my blanket, just no gloves. It’s difficult for me to remember to take everything when I feel the slightest hint of pressure.
Anyhow, our journey was now back on track including a stop for refuelling. Needless to say my blanket came in handy. Upon my husbands return to our vehicle I presented myself in the latest Wal-Mart attire. A new pair of socks (over my tights of course), a pair of enclosed laced up black shoes, brown corduroy pants, a roll neck heavy wool sweater complete with scarf/shawl, and my original jacket. Comfy as a bug in a rug I was now feeling much better. I didn’t even need gloves as I folded up my blanket and laid it across my lap with my hands tucked neatly under it.
No the windows were not rolled down, nor was the air conditioning turned on. My
husband was fitted out in a short sleeved shirt and trousers. He was comfortable! I was comfortable! We were now, however, in total agreement on the temperature. At least the temperature inside the car. And I was delighted with my new duds!!!
Famous Wal-Mart catch-phrase...."Did you find everything you were looking for?"
Aurora
Anticipating the dawn of each new day can provide an opportunity to sparkle and shine. Life is a journey of unlimited possibilities in a eminence of eternal hope. Some days arrive in a mist of fog giving way to frustration and/or confusion which often cast shadows over joy. Others reveal disturbances over the progressive wrenching of the hands of time stealing one’s peace.
My favourite daybreaks are the more quieter ones which unfold in a slower pace, almost breathless emergence. For instance today, were it not for the injections of manmade inventions, my breathing may have been the only sound my ears would have detected. My eyes signalled the brain that the night was almost past. Through the bedroom window I peered in a curious investigative manner. Without the aid of my glasses the sight was even more beautiful as the lingering night sky appeared to be in no hurry to dismiss it’s playful illuminations. My senses were on overdrive as my feet hit the floor commanding my response “Yes, it is good to be alive!”
A closer look revealed castings of the night air had blanketed the distressed blades of grass and surrounding foliage in my beautiful enchanted garden. Yesterday, or so it seems, the area presented a vibrant statement of living. This morning, I felt the urge to run out and embrace the atmosphere in the hopes of restoring life. But alas! It is not within my power.
I am learning, especially in times of sadness and disappointment, peace and joy are definitely possible and attainable. While the frost lay covering the earth, my inner being was not only aware, but truthfully aroused, that all of what I witness and particularly that which I do not see draws me nearer to the light along the way toward eternal hope.
This day advances and I must make a responsible and mature decision to offer myself in the work force of life, although, part of me remains submerged in a world of words. Words that consume my time and stir up childlike emotions which often detain my intended actions. Yet, this is the epitome of who I am.
Anticipating the dawn of each new day can provide an opportunity to sparkle and shine. Life is a journey of unlimited possibilities in a eminence of eternal hope. Some days arrive in a mist of fog giving way to frustration and/or confusion which often cast shadows over joy. Others reveal disturbances over the progressive wrenching of the hands of time stealing one’s peace.
My favourite daybreaks are the more quieter ones which unfold in a slower pace, almost breathless emergence. For instance today, were it not for the injections of manmade inventions, my breathing may have been the only sound my ears would have detected. My eyes signalled the brain that the night was almost past. Through the bedroom window I peered in a curious investigative manner. Without the aid of my glasses the sight was even more beautiful as the lingering night sky appeared to be in no hurry to dismiss it’s playful illuminations. My senses were on overdrive as my feet hit the floor commanding my response “Yes, it is good to be alive!”
A closer look revealed castings of the night air had blanketed the distressed blades of grass and surrounding foliage in my beautiful enchanted garden. Yesterday, or so it seems, the area presented a vibrant statement of living. This morning, I felt the urge to run out and embrace the atmosphere in the hopes of restoring life. But alas! It is not within my power.
I am learning, especially in times of sadness and disappointment, peace and joy are definitely possible and attainable. While the frost lay covering the earth, my inner being was not only aware, but truthfully aroused, that all of what I witness and particularly that which I do not see draws me nearer to the light along the way toward eternal hope.
This day advances and I must make a responsible and mature decision to offer myself in the work force of life, although, part of me remains submerged in a world of words. Words that consume my time and stir up childlike emotions which often detain my intended actions. Yet, this is the epitome of who I am.
Welcome
I am embarking on a new journey, one which involve using technology to share my thoughts with all my treasured friends. I invite you to join me as I travel through this journey and feel free to add your own valued comments.
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